On September 28, 2023, Toby Keith walked onto the stage of the Grand Ole Opry House to accept the very first Country Icon Award at the very first People’s Choice Country Awards. Nobody in the building knew it yet, but it would be the last time he ever performed on television. And the clearest picture of what that night meant did not come from the stage. It came from the audience, where his wife of 39 years, Tricia Lucus, sat watching him.
Within a few minutes, the cameras caught her twice. The first time, she was smiling. The second time, she was wiping tears from her face.
Why Toby Keith Chose That Song
Toby had been fighting stomach cancer since he was diagnosed in the fall of 2021. He made the news public in June 2022, after months of chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. The awards show was his first television appearance since that announcement, and he knew exactly what he wanted to sing.
On the red carpet, speaking with Chuck Wicks for NBC, he explained his choice of “Don’t Let the Old Man In”:
“I’ve been going through my cancer fight for the last couple of years and it’s really inspiring for a lot of people. And coming back on TV for the first time and performing live in front of a live audience, I thought it was fitting.”
He had written the song alone in 2018, after playing a golf tournament as Clint Eastwood’s partner. Eastwood was about to turn 88 and was heading off to make another movie. When Toby asked what kept him going, Eastwood told him he got up every day and didn’t let the old man in. Toby went home, wrote the song and sent it to him. Eastwood used it in his film The Mule.
Five years later, the man who wrote it was the one who needed it.
A Joke, a Thank-You and a Smile
Blake Shelton, a fellow Oklahoman and longtime friend, opened the tribute by singing Toby’s “Who’s Your Daddy?” and then handed him the award. Toby, visibly thinner, got the first laugh himself.
“I bet you never thought y’all would see me in skinny jeans.”
Then he turned serious. He thanked “the Almighty” for allowing him to be there, saying the Lord had been riding shotgun with him for a little while now. He thanked his manager, his team and his musicians. And he thanked “my beautiful family that’s here.”
That is when the camera cut to Tricia. Taste of Country, reporting on the broadcast, noted she was smiling from the audience. Toby finished by raising the trophy and thanking the fans “for still allowing us to do what we do.”
When the Camera Went Back to Tricia
Toby did not bring a big production for the song. He stood alone with an acoustic guitar and sang in that deep baritone fans had known since “Should’ve Been a Cowboy.” Several outlets reported that he appeared to be shaking at times. Taste of Country added that he seemed to have a tear or two in his own eyes.
When the camera returned to Tricia, she was crying. E! News reported that she wiped tears from her face throughout the performance, and she was not the only one in the audience doing it.
Writing about the clip after Toby’s death, Oklahoma newspaper columnist James Beaty pointed out one small detail in his column for the McAlester News-Capital: the cut to Tricia came as Toby sang a line about loving your wife and keeping your friends close.
Thirty-Nine Years in the Audience
The woman in that shot had been with Toby since long before the Opry. They met in an Oklahoma bar when he was working in the oil fields and playing music at night. “I was 19 and he was 20,” Tricia told People in 2001. “He was just one of those larger-than-life guys, full of confidence.”
They married on March 24, 1984. When the oil business went bust, Toby put everything into music, and the two of them raised a family while dealing with creditors. His first hit did not come until 1993.
What Came After That Night
The performance did something a 2018 movie song had never done. Within days, “Don’t Let the Old Man In” was No. 1 on the iTunes country chart and No. 3 across all genres. It topped Billboard’s Country Digital Song Sales chart for two straight weeks, and Big Machine Label Group sent it to country radio that fall.
A few weeks later, he announced shows at Dolby Live at Park MGM in Las Vegas. The first two sold out in about two minutes, so he added a third. He played them on December 10, 11 and 14, 2023. They were his last concerts.
In a January 2024 interview with Robin Marsh of Oklahoma City’s News 9, he talked about Tricia: “Oh, she’s been a trooper. She’s the best nurse.”
Toby Keith died on February 5, 2024, at 62, surrounded by his family. It was seven weeks before what would have been his and Tricia’s 40th wedding anniversary.